All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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