Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
