There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
