he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
