That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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