before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
