And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Kiss
Puke
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
