do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
