She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
