I just cut my nipple shaving
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize