My pussy is not your playground.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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