Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
