Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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