does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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