Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
