hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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