OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
