Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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