Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So much rum. So many feels.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
