Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
