Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Mom said you looked used
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
