Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
