I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
