I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
