Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The best revenge is premature balding
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
