Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i dont even know how to be here
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize