Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I could have mohawked her pubes.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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