Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
