Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize