mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
