Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
