How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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