i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
