I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she woke up with a sticky ear
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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