i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize