so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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