Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
