when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
