I just gift wrapped bread.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
