and i looked up. we had an audience...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
