I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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