i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Is it penis luge time yet?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
