I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Who put my cat in the fridge?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
