He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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