Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
