nut hugger
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
