Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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