i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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