I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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