oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
