i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
