I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
