You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
