Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
