Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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