oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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