he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
