The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
