you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
