i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We left the knife in your bed.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
